Monoblocked
by Goth Albino Angel
Summary: Kinkyronpa prompt. Monodam is under the illusion that sex is unfriendly. None of the couples in the school are particularly fond of him breaking into their fun times, though. Thankfully, there are loopholes in the rules and a genius amongst them. Irumatsu, Makirumi, Momohara.


**_I don't own Dangan Ronpa._**

 ** _This was a funny Kinkyronpa prompt to go along with. I just couldn't resist it. Hope you all like it!_**

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The dorms were quiet. Everyone prepared for bed as Kirumi made a few extra rounds. Kokichi set up a few pranks for the following day while Kaito took his nightly walk to observe the stars. Tenko wished Himiko good night as Angie (and Atua) wished everyone safe dreams. The other students just settled in for another quiet night.

Well, all except two.

In the lower part of the female dorms, the door closest to the outside doors had admitted not one, but two people, both blonde. Not long after entering the room, the shorter of the pair pressed the taller against a wall. Skilled fingers trailed a familiar path up a pink-clad torso as gloved hands eagerly snaked their way around slender shoulders.

Miu breathed a soft, blissful sigh as she buried her face in Kaede's hair, the familiar smell of lilies and mango-scented lotion soothing her body. Two mounds pressed against her ribs as Kaede leaned up to snag Miu's lips with her own, her tongue slipping past the inventor's lips with ease. They battled against one another, Miu's tongue lashing at Kaede's sharper, more coordinated one until the inventor fell prey and the pianist took control.

They pulled apart for air and the shorter woman buried her face in a pale neck, inhaling the aroma of cherries, jasmine, and ocean-scented shampoo, all with a permanent undertone of metal. Kaede loved that smell; it was one of the things that drew her to Miu in the first place. She brushed her hands up and down her girlfriend's sides as the taller woman tangled her fingers in the pianist's mane. Said pianist grazed her teeth over the sensitive flesh of Miu's throat and the inventor groaned softly as her hips rolled forward. Kaede smirked at the reaction and used Miu's hips to drag the rest of the woman forward, pressing their bodies flush against each other.

"Kaede," Miu whimpered with a shudder. "Quit teasing. I want you to play my piano already!"

"Now, is that any way to ask?" the shorter blonde purred, one hand ghosting down to play with one of the straps on Miu's thigh.

The inventor released a breathless gasp and her fingers twitched where they were wrapped around Kaede's shoulders. "P-Please," she whispered in a voice higher than her usual rough tone. "Please f-fuck me?"

The fingers playing at her thigh swept just an inch or two higher. Kaede's lips tugged up into a hungry grin as she pressed Miu into the wall. "I'm not convinced yet. Ask really nicely, Miu."

"Please!" Miu cried. She couldn't take knowing Kaede's talented fingers were _so close_ and _still_ not touching her. "I'm beggin' ya, Kae. Please stick those fingers so deep I can't even walk to breakfast in the morning!"

There it was. Tongue licking over her lips, Kaede moved her hand higher, rubbing at the soaking lace covering Miu's treasure. The time since she had done this last stretched on the longer she was kept from her girlfriend's wetness. She could just feel the slick flesh, burning hot against her fingertips as she pushed Miu to her edge. And it was only a slinky piece of lace away.

"As you wish," Kaede murmured, swiping the underwear down Miu's legs. She didn't bother removing it as she pressed the pink-clad woman flat against the wall and-

Her hand met metal.

"What-?" Both glanced down to find a green and white figure standing between Miu's legs. Some of the strawberry-blonde's essence dripped from her thigh and splattered against a blank white eye. Without a second to lose, Miu leaped into Kaede's arms with a shriek.

"What the hell is that fuckin' robot doin' here?" she demanded.

Monodam wiped his eye and faced the two women. "You mustn't do that," he told them calmly.

"Fuckin' perv!" Miu snarled. "You got no right tellin' us what we can do with our virile, luscious bodies! Not when you're peepin' between my legs like some sick creep!"

"He's got no right regardless," Kaede pointed out, moving to the bed and depositing Miu. She turned back to Monodam with a raised eyebrow. "Is there a reason for this interruption?"

"Everyone must get along," Monodam stated, raising his paws(?) in the air emphatically. "So you must not do that."

The two women blinked at him. Miu blinked again as Kaede's expression fell into a deadpan stare. After blinking a third time, Miu fell backward on the bed.

"You've gotta be _fuckin'_ kiddin' me…" she grumbled. "It's 'cause he doesn't have a dick, isn't it?"

"I genuinely don't know," Kaede responded flatly. "Monodam, please tell me you have a good reason for interrupting us?"

"You mustn't do that," repeated the robotic ursine. "You must get along."

Miu lifted back up, placing her hands between her legs to alleviate some of the uncomfortable friction. "We were _gettin' along_ just fine before you showed your fugly mug. Get out and we'll get back to it."

"That will hinder your progress," Monodam insisted. "You must be nice. No lewd activities allowed."

There was a beat of silence before Miu stood. "Wait here," she ordered. "I'm gonna go get my toolkit."

"What for?" inquired Kaede curiously.

"Fuckin' duh!" the inventor retorted in irritation as she made her way toward the door. "So I can build this little fucker a new asshole and rip him apart!"

"Negative," Monodam huffed. "You are to remain in your own room."

Miu spun around and leapt at the green menace irritably. Kaede moved in front of her quickly, intercepting the attack and guiding Miu back to the bed. Kneeling beside her, the pianist kissed her forehead.

"No need to do anything foolish," she murmured. "Just stay calm. We'll figure this out, okay?"

The inventor merely pouted and leaned up to snag another kiss from Kaede's lips. Craving another taste of her orange-flavor lipgloss, Miu deepened the kiss. Kaede made no complaints as she allowed her girlfriend to play for a little while. Once she figured Miu had gotten enough fun, the pianist's tongue lashed forward and dominated the taller woman's. At the same time, one of Kaede's hands pushed Miu backward to lay her fully on the bed. It really _had_ been too long…

Before they could get much further, Monodam pushed Kaede to the side, stopping her from doing anything more to Miu. The startled woman ended up rolling over the side of the bed, crashing on the floor. Meanwhile, Monodam grabbed Miu by the back of her shirt and began dragging her toward the door.

"The fuck are you _doing?_ " Miu snarled, struggling in the robot's grip. "I swear, as soon as I find my toolkit, I'm going to beat your head in with my wrench, you perverted little toy!"

Monodam paid no attention and more curses spilled from Miu's lips as she was taken to her own room. Kaede merely watched, rubbing her head from where she'd fallen. Well… this was an interesting development. She couldn't tell if it was genuinely Monodam being Monodam or if Monokuma had set him up to this to make a murder happen. She would dwell on that later, though. First things first, she needed a softer carpet. That fall _hurt_.

…

A week had passed since Monodam had broken into their time together. Ever since, any time any of the students tried to hook up, the bear would be there to stop them. Kaito had attempted pummeling him a few times, but was stopped by Shuuichi before any harm could be done. Maki even threw a knife at the little green menace when he interrupted a heavy makeout session between Kirumi and herself. Miu had locked herself in her lab until further notice, so Kaede had no hope of even getting a kiss in the foreseeable future. And through it all, Kokichi laughed like it was the funniest joke in the world.

At breakfast one morning, Kaede lay with her head on the dining hall table as everyone else lounged around a bit. Most of the others were in a grumpy mood as well, namely the more sexually active participants in each relationship. Angie, of course, retained her regular cheerfulness, but Kaito absently threw a bouncy ball at the wall to avoid snapping at no one in particular, and Maki glared at another wall irritably. Tenko and Keebo looked around at them all curiously, confused about the mood shift, while Kiyo giggled every few moments, earning an occasional glare from Maki.

Kaede just wanted to cuddle in the warmth of Miu's breasts and breathe in the scent of metal and flowers. That's all she was asking for at this point. She hadn't even _seen_ Miu for _days_. No pecks on the cheek, compliments veiled in insults, innuendos, nothing. Miu was practically nonexistent and it only heightened Kaede's melancholy.

"I hate that stupid bear," she mumbled at last, tired of Angie's current religious tirade. "Hate him almost as much as I hate Monokuma."

"There's gotta be something we can do about him!" Kaito snarled, punching his fists together before catching his ball and tossing it at the wall again.

Maki sniffed in contempt. "As if we _could_ do something about him," she sniped. "Don't the rules advocate against that?"

"Nope," Shuuichi replied as he dug into his breakfast calmly. "Only says we can't hurt Monokuma. The Kubs are apparently fair game."

At this, Kaito and Maki perked up, Kaede lifting her head as a familiar glint appeared in her eye. The detective noticed his best friend's plotting expression and he felt sorry he even mentioned it.

"Well," Kaede chuckled darkly. "That puts things into perspective. Maybe what Miu said has some merit to it after all…"

"Is your flat-chested lame-o loser ass so desperate for this smokin' bod that you talk about me while I'm not even here?" All heads whipped around at the voice and found Miu in the doorway, leaning against the jamb with a smirk playing at her lips. "It's not like I would blame you, of course. Who _wouldn't_ talk about perfection?"

"Miu!" Kaede cheered. "I haven't seen you in _forever!_ Where've you been?"

The inventor flipped her hair as she walked forward. "Well, while you morons were moping around, dragging your useless asses all over school and whining about that dickless knut-chomper, I was putting my genius brain to good use coming up with a solution."

That caught everyone's attention. "A solution?" inquired Maki. "What solution?"

Instead of giving them a verbal answer, Miu reached into her cleavage and dug around for a few seconds before removing her hand proudly. Presenting her creation to the rest of the group, she allowed them to lean closer to examine it. Kaede cocked her head at the contraption. It appeared to be a small metal box with an antenna on the top and several buttons around the side.

"What does it do?" Kaito asked, scratching his head.

Miu rolled her eyes. "Of course an idiot like you wouldn't realize…" Clearing her throat, the inventor began to explain. "Well, this is a shield, specifically, a shield to keep out any type of robot or AI. All I have to do is press this button here-" She pressed a green button on the side of the box and a small keypad opened up. "-and input the size of the space I want to encompass." Miu typed in some quick coordinates to demonstrate. "And the antenna releases the shield around us. This keeps any intruding robots out of the space while not damaging the robots already inside the area. Like this." She hit the enter button on the keypad and a lavender light exploded from the antenna of the box, surrounding them all in a large sphere.

Kibou patted himself down experimentally and smiled. "That is very effective, Miu. And exceptionally safe for even my usage. How thoughtful of you."

"Well, duh!" the genius sneered. "I can't invent somethin' that'll damage ya too much before I even get the chance to mess around with your body."

"That… isn't going to happen…" Kibou muttered as Kaede examined the device curiously.

The pianist looked to her girlfriend, a new light filling her eyes. "What happens to any robot that touches it?"

Miu shrugged. "I dunno. I programmed it to be a minor shock, but since I'm not a robot, there was no way to get feedback. Hey, Monokid! Get your two-toned poser wannabe ass in here!"

As to be expected, Monokid appeared before them within seconds, looking livid. "Whadja call me?" he demanded, storming toward them. "I ain't no poser, ya bastards! I'm the real deal! The one and only Monoki-iieeeeeeeeoooowww!"

He had reached the barrier and, because he wasn't really paying attention, he rammed headfirst into it. The group watched as electricity rang throughout his body for a few seconds before he dropped to the ground in a steaming heap, mumbling something about Monocoins. Miu glanced to the box in her hand and pressed a purple button on the side opposite the green one. The shield fell and everyone gathered around Monokid.

"Looks like it works just fine to me!" Kaito chuckled. "How many ya got?"

Miu huffed and turned her nose up at him. "As _if_ I would make some for you plebs without you even askin'! Fuck I look like, your maid?" She paused and shot a glance to Kirumi, smiling sheepishly. The Ultimate Maid simply nodded to her calmly and Miu relaxed in relief. "Anyway, yeah, here, go nuts."

From her cleavage, she withdrew three more boxes and tossed one to Kaito, Maki, and Kibou. Shuuichi looked mortified as Kaito grabbed him and all but dragged him from the dining hall. Maki simply strode for the exit with Kirumi dutifully following after. Kibou dashed off to examine his device curiously. Miu watched them all go and shook her head.

"Idiots," she grumbled. "They didn't even stop to hear the rest of the instructions."

"Instructions?" inquired Kaede calmly. She gently took Miu's hand and began leading her toward the dormitories.

"Oh, ya know," the inventor shrugged. "The usual shit. Solar-powered, so leave it in the sun for a few hours. Don't press the white button because it's an emergency self-destruct. The red button changes the type of shield, yadda yadda. They'll figure it out eventually, I guess."

Kaede stopped and turned to the box Miu still held. "Well, what about ours?"

A blush bloomed on the taller woman's cheeks as she muttered, "I used the last of its power for that demo… It's gonna be an hour or so before we can, uh, use it."

There was a beat of silence before Kaede smiled. "That's okay, I don't think we'll need it."

"Huh?" Miu's ahoge perked up in confusion as Kaede led her outside to the gardens.

The pianist gave her girlfriend a smile. To anyone else, it would seem nonchalant, positively friendly, but Miu knew better. That smile hid mischief. Kaede was planning something.

"Since Monodam will be busy trying to stop the others, why don't you and I… make some music in the garden?"

A slow smirk spread across Miu's lips and she let out a cheer. "Ya just can't wait to ravish my hot, voluptuous body, huh, Kaeidiot? I don't blame ya! How can anyone resist a genius goddess like me?"

Kaede ignored Miu's words as she dragged the inventor to a more secluded area of the garden. In the distance, she just made out the sound of Monodam being electrocuted by one of the shields and she giggled. It would be a while before he found them. She was going to take that time to put Miu's 'hot, voluptuous body' to use.

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 ** _And there ya go! I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it, cause this was fun!_**

 ** _Remember, sneak peeks and update info can be found on my tumblr, gothalbinoangel-fanfiction! I just opened commissions!_**


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